Coming of Age Story: Jaeeon (30 July 21)

Like NB, JE’s narrative is primarily structured as a coming of age (CoA) story, not a romance. I’ll detail how the characteristics of this genre plays out in his story, and how his character goes through the stages a character normally would in a CoA story. 

First, I have to point this out: As a CoA story actively challenges the character, and they have to make tough decisions to change – it is inherent within the structure that his behaviour has to be confronted, not excused. 

JE’s journey actually parallels NB’s in many ways, but unlike NB, he’s not a protagonist, and we don’t get to hear his thoughts until Ep 6. The picture that we see of JE is in large part dictated by the way that NB sees him, we get to know him through her eyes. 

To read JE’s story is to separate him from the NB’s filters, understand her unreliable narrator of who he is, and look at the contextual clues given to us, not only in what he says to NB, but also in the few scenes where he’s shown without NB around. 

Given that, we can see that JE too has a limited worldview at the start of the story. It’s one that he articulates to NB - He doesn’t think that people need to date, and is non-committal. 

He’s shown to chase NB, using touch especially (and none of that shown as healthy behaviour!) Still, when NB draws the line or calls him out, he backs away. JE has a “if you don’t want to, then I won’t” mindset. 

If you don’t want to kiss, I won’t force you, if you want to pursue things with Eunhan, then I won’t interfere, if you want to stop seeing me, then that’s your decision to make. 

JE has the same loose attachment in social relations. He’s not concerned about reputation, smiling when people assume the sort of person he is, instead of correcting them. Keeping a distance, his social relations never deviates from his worldview. 

It’s later on that we find out why he behaves the way he does. He admits to NB that he draws the line because when people cross a certain line they’ll find that there’s nothing meaningful. 

He also thinks certainty in his relationship is unrealistic, and that the relationship loses strength the moment it becomes certain. At some point in his life, he must’ve had a relationship he invested in that failed him, and it’s difficult to say which it is.

It could be a romantic one, it could be something else – but it traumatised him enough for him to form his own defence mechanism. But JE begins to want to change when he starts to realise that the rumours that he dismisses have real consequences. 

People talk badly about NB due to him, she gets hurt, and is partly why NB eventually chooses to end things with him. Gossip about JE may be true or untrue, but his playboy reputation feeds into it, and his strategy of not clarifying anything doesn’t help. 

At the same time, JE starts to develop genuine feelings for NB, and starts doing ‘boyfriend’ things with her but neither of them define the relationship. He doesn’t want to stop seeing NB, but he’s unable to give her the security she needs. 

When NB ends things, he realises that not all that she says is true, and it hurts him. But again, he has to take some responsibility. If he wants her in his life, he has to clarify misunderstandings. After the confrontation, he gets sick of the way he’s been living. 

He resolves to change, but you also see that he goes through changes without critically thinking about what he wants to achieve and how. He never faces his growing feelings for NB, never asks himself what he really wants from himself and NB. 

This is a crucial point, because like I’ve said in previous threads, as long as he does not dig deep and answer some of those questions he will keep falling back into his old ways and you can actually see him doing so to less and less success. 

His old ways, like touching NB to get a reaction from her, actually gets them back to talking, but after that he has to communicate with her, and they decide to maintain a friendly distance, which includes him respecting her physical boundaries. 

He also doesn’t go back to playing with women, choosing instead to hang out with male friends. He doesn’t get upset when people suggest that someone else may ask NB out. He’s not possessive of NB because they’re just friends. 

This gives them some peace and is a good first step, but it’s also clear that he isn’t dealing with the fundamental issues. Of course non-commitment works fine for JE, be it fwb or friendship. It doesn’t challenge his worldview at all. 

Distance is comfortable for him, as long as NB is somehow in his life in some way. Then NB disappears, and all the feelings that he has not realised/refused to acknowledge surface. That’s when he gets to the real struggle stage of his journey. 

JE has fallen for NB, and worries over her absence, but these feelings for her makes him feel uncomfortable, because to face them would be to change the worldview that has protected him all this time. 

So he decides to go back to his old ways to cope. It turns out to be a failure though, because after that he realises he can’t get rid of his feelings for NB. He can’t go backwards anymore. 

Then he meets KH, and for the first time he is introduced to the notion that NB might actually like him. You see, a lot of people paint JE out to be someone who is actively hurting NB like he knows that NB has feelings for him. 

But up till this point there’s been no indication that NB wanted more. For all he knows NB ended things with him because she didn’t want an fwb relationship, he didn’t know that it was hard for her because she had real feelings. 

It helps put what SA tells him about her situation with Chris in perspective, it’s all viewpoints he hadn’t considered. JE at this point has not come to the ‘epiphany’ stage of his journey, but all these talks with his friends are slowly leading him to it. 

KH tells JE that not wanting certainty in a relationship is a twisted way of thinking, and it is. It’s thinking that’s borne of trauma. JE thinks there’s ugliness and pain in happiness – that’s not a healthy mindset at all. 

He not only unwittingly hurts NB because of it, but it’s the real reason why he’s so sick of himself in the first place. It’s not a mentality that will help him to love himself nor find true happiness. 

Like NB, he has boxed himself in such a way that protects himself but which never allows him to have true freedom. His mom notices this when JE is reminded of NB. She knows that feelings are there, and she encourages him to not ignore them. 

She then links it to self-love. Interesting, isn’t it? Like NB, if he doesn’t acknowledge his feelings, he won’t be able to grow as a person. 

Time and time again I hear people say, “No! The show shouldn’t change JE because it sends the wrong message to girls that they can change an fboi or that an fboi will miraculously change when they fall in love” – That’s not how his growth is playing out. 

First, the “I can change him” narrative is moot because NB never tries to change him. 

And as for “the fboi changing for love” narrative, that’s not what’s happening. JE has very real trauma and an unhealthy mindset that he has to actively face and re-evaluate. There's no magic "love conquers all" remedy. He has to deal with root issues. 

Again, as with NB, his feelings are challenging the limited worldview that he has shackled himself to in order to protect himself from young, forcing him to make a decision to grow or continue to remain in a rut. 

NB and JE’s feelings are a driving force for their individual CoA stories first and foremost, not romance, not endgame. As with NB, likely he will reach the “big decision” stage soon, which will likely consist of him overcoming his emotional obstacles. 

I’m not sure if it will happen in Ep 7, but all roads point to that, and I’m rooting for him to grow into a more mature and healthy individual. 

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