Coming of Age Story: Nabi (29 July 21)

Nevertheless is primarily a coming of age (CoA) story of 6 youths. In this thread I’ll talk about how it fits the characteristics of a CoA story, and how the stages the characters go through are typical of that story structure. I’ll start with NB, who’s the protagonist.

CoA stories typically include a protagonist who is in the process of socially and emotionally maturing, someone who is a work-in-progress you might say, who makes discoveries about who they are as a person and the world. 

They struggle due to the events in the story, have to make tough choices and/or have an epiphany, and eventually they’re different, and more mature, at the end of it. 

The challenges that the character faces often differ based on the story, below is a list of a few. For S and JW, this is more of a sexuality and relationship story, for example. For NB, the conflict is relationship focused. 

Thus, imo, it would be wrong to classify Nevertheless as a romance or romance gone wrong at its core. Rather, any relationship feeds into the greater CoA story. Such as NB and JE’s fwb arrangement, which is actually the turning point in each character’s individual growth. 

The protagonist starts off with a false or limited worldview and can be immature. For NB, she's first an innocent girl who thinks she’s in a loving relationship with someone who treats her special, but who was actually a teacher who controlled her. 

She manages to break out of that toxic relationship, but that’s just the beginning. As the story progresses, NB’s false and limited worldview is slowly revealed as we see the way that she handles the situation with JE. 

I’ve written in previous threads that NB makes a lot of assumptions of JE, which is to an extent justified because he’s always been clear about not wanting commitment. 

There’s indication of his developing feelings from as early as Ep 3, however, putting that aside, the main issue is also that she wants more from the relationship - she wants to date him, but we find that she does not tell JE this. 

At the same time, we start to see NB as someone who listens a lot to what others say, without critically examining whether these people have her best interests at heart. She’s ashamed by the rumours. 

As someone who seeks other opinions constantly (see S and BN), she readily listens to gossip. However, as an audience we can see where these gossip stems from, and from whom advice comes from. 

She overhears someone talking about her and JE, and it is the guy who embarrassed her at the gathering. Her prof has good intentions, sure, but also gives her advice without listening and getting a better understanding of what goes on with JE. 

Lastly, she listens to the man who physically harms her and beats JE up over a misunderstanding. Never mind that she doesn’t know that it was a misunderstanding - she (or that man, clearly) never asks for more information about the situation from JE. 

We’ll see these two main issues, not properly articulating her feelings and not communicating with JE, perpetuate further problems. NB never stops liking JE despite ending things. 

She misses him, looks at him on campus, and even when they talk and resolve to be friends, she still harbours feelings for him. None of that is bad, however, without ever properly sorting out these feelings by talking them out with JE, it's a ticking time bomb. 

And the bomb explodes when she meets SA. SA tells her that she’s dating JE again, and reveals later that she’s surprised NB just upped and left. She has a point. If NB had simply spoken to JE, she’d know that SA was lying. 

But her unresolved feelings and her penchant for feeling immediate embarrassment has her running to her aunt. The whole time NB is essentially romanced by DH but she keeps thinking of JE, and this is not surprising because she hasn’t resolved anything at all. 

At this time, her aunt speaks to her, and challenges her worldview. See, NB has a lot of shame, especially in the area of relationships, because she sees this as her mom’s primary failure. Relationships are linked to her trauma of being neglected by her mom. 

She doesn’t want to face her feelings, we find, because she thinks love makes her pathetic like her mom. However, just like the shelf that she tries to fix, NB’s shelf will always be crooked if she doesn’t face her feelings for JE. 

It’s only by facing him, that she can face the limited worldview she has built up to protect herself due to being neglected by her mum who always has a new man in her life. 

Her aunt here offers a more complex view of the world, one that's not purely black and white. Though her mother did fail, there’s some respectability in loving that hard, and it wasn’t all a failure, because she gained something precious – NB herself. 

Essentially she encourages NB to not fear making mistakes. Just like how pottery is unpredictable, and how sculpture mistakes can’t be saved and deleted, instead of going the easy route, why not be brave and face what may potentially be painful? 

So we see NB is at the struggle stage of the story and at some point she will have to make a big decision. There are a few examples of what this ‘big decision’ may be, but I predict it will be overcoming emotional obstacles, and overcoming her fears. 

She has to learn to communicate honestly and if all goes well, meeting JE again will push her in that direction. The goal is not ‘endgame’, the story is not a love triangle. 

To see this show simply as a youth "romance" is too simplistic a way to view this show, and it’d be a disappointment if the last few episodes goes that way and mars what has otherwise been a consistently written CoA story. 

On a side note, this is also not a story about a girl trying to change a guy. NB has never tried to change JE. In fact it’s the fact that she hasn’t even tried that could be indicative of the deeper problem. 

She has, thus far, maintained a preemptive stance, without communicating properly with him (he's partially at fault, we'll get to that). Rather, this story is about NB re-evaluating her limited worldview, and hopefully taking the steps to communicate honestly. 

I look forward to the conclusion of the story, where NB will display evidence of change. Being honest with her feelings, owning them, and to see the world in a broader view, free from the shackles of he

r the issues borne from her poor relationship with her mom. 

doramaticbites