Nabi and Jaeeon’s Areas for Growth (25 July 21)

More being a story about an fboi changing for a girl, Nevertheless is showing us a story of two people whose fwb arrangement exposed areas where they need to grow in as individuals. Two people were running from their feelings in Ep 6, but let’s talk first about Nabi. 

NB is the protagonist of the show and her growth is the one that is central to the story. It is not something that happens at a click of the finger - for as long as the show lasts, her journey will continue. 

If you think about it, NB hasn't properly expressed her feelings for JE, but they’ve always been lurking beneath the surface. She wasn't able to take the stress of being in an open relationship (not knowing that JE doesn’t see anyone when he’s with her). 

So she decides to end things. SA confirms it, when her situation with Chris is made as a comparison. 

It would have been great if things really just ended there, but NB never stops liking JE. After JE talks to her on the couch, he resolves to change. For that, it meant keeping a comfortable distance. 

In the dance scene, the guys say that NB’s dance partner might ask her out - this doesn’t affect JE much, because he’s not one to control her like her ex. For JE, having NB in his life and them not fighting is good for him. The distance suits him too. 

But the one who is not okay with it is NB. On the surface things are fine, but there’s a lot NB keeps inside without facing them. One example is when JE tells her that he was being sincere about his art, NB whispers that she meant when it comes to dating. 

NB, whether she realises it or not, still has the hope that he will one day be sincere in relationships - to her. But this is not something she voices to JE. JE has to hear through KH that NB likes him. It’s hard to say if he even believes it. 

But you see, these feelings that she has are nonetheless throwing him in for a loop. SA lies to her that she and JE are dating again, and she says this after confirming with NB that JE and NB are just friends. NB admits this, as hard as it is for her to do. 

The thing is, even if it were true, there’s literally no problem with it besides the fact that it hurts NB because NB still has feelings for him. 

NB has a lot of shame. She grew up a neglected child, and told herself that she would never love anyone (subs say date but she actually says 'fall in love') because she was ashamed and hurt looking at her mother. 

She finds her situation with JE to be stupid and embarrassing, the literal worst. But why? And, compared to her relationship with her ex, really? But she feels that way because for the first time she actually really, truly, likes someone. 

She’s never able to get him out of her head. 

The whole of Ep 6 could have been a youthful summer romance. Here was a near-perfect guy, who clearly likes her, bringing her out on the most beautiful “dates”. 

And yet what does NB do? She unconvincingly tells DH there's no one, winces when he touches her, falls asleep when he pours out his heart. She readily laughs when people think they’re dating, she holds onto the bike first before she holds onto his shirt. 

She happily talks about how she’s enjoying the beaches but never mentions the boy. Her aunt asks her if she had fun camping with DH, the only thing she can actually say is that he cooks well. She even thinks about returning to Seoul. 

DH shows her the artwork that he meticulously kept over the years, she replies to him in much the same way she replied EH. Ah, EH, do you remember him? The guy that NB tried to like but didn’t. 

But still, when she tried to open her mind to a relationship with him, ignoring the fact that she actually liked JE instead, EH rejected her and that embarrassed her. 

Again, it need not have been a huge deal if NB just told herself, “Oh well, I didn’t like him anyway” but because NB is critical of herself, it’s a hard rejection. So again, with DH, despite not liking him, she is afraid she would be embarrassed. 

NB’s aunt talks to her in the workshop, and tells her that butterflies don’t just live on honey, but on insects and poop. Basically, everything that happens in her life are nutrients that will help her grow. 

NB has a tendency to want to prevent herself from getting hurt, she’s afraid of mistakes. She should go easy on herself because if she only saw things more positively, she would hurt herself and others less. 

See, the thing with JE is that she always had a “I’ll do this before you have a chance to hurt me” kind of attitude. I’ll ask you to keep our relationship a secret, because I assume that’s what you want. 

I won’t ask you to be my boyfriend, because I assume you’ll reject me. I’ll assume you only want to spend nights with me (actually untrue). I’ll end things with you but I won’t tell you that it’s because it hurts because I like you. 

In trying to protect herself, she doesn’t realise that she’s hurting herself and JE. In this way NB is very similar to KH. In fact KH spells it out. When JE questions why he won’t just be completely honest, KH says it’s because he has pride. 

He’s already upset because he feels like he’s the only one who likes her. And is that not NB? She feels like a fool because she thinks that she’s the only one with feelings, so she is never 100% honest with JE. 

Meanwhile the irony of all this is that JE is struggling hard because he DOES like her. It's a sad case of them not yet getting to a place where they communicate honestly with each other. And they'll have to do that moving forward. 

Ep 6 was actually many characters stating their internal mindsets, philosophies, if you will, regarding love and relationships. But again the show is not saying, this is wrong, this is right, but using these to give you further insight to their motivations. 

Actions don’t take place in a vacuum, they always come from somewhere. We are a product of so many factors, but as we grow we might have to re-evaluate these things. 

NB’s aunt tells her - as much as her mum had her faults, many failures, there’s something oddly respectable about someone who willingly puts herself out there, who loves hard. 

I personally don’t fully agree with it, but it’s not all bad to tell this to NB. Sometimes feelings have to be faced head on, and it may end painfully, but it doesn’t mean that precious things can’t come out of it. The important thing is not to live in fear. 

I always say that Nevertheless is a show that is dear to me, because the characters are dear to me. Some of them have more of a grip than others, but they are all stumbling through relationships and life. 

Change doesn’t happen overnight, especially when they are so deeply rooted as the drama shows. It’s the process that I’m invested in, and I root for them all, and none more than my protagonist NB. 

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