Questioning Nabi’s View of Jaeeon (11 July 21)

Did he not know? It is one of many open-ended questions, the answers assumed or never given, left unasked, and thus not answered by JE. Did he really not know it was her birthday? He asked her for a date, in the open, in the daytime on that very day. 

He spends the day with her, and when she asks about the exhibition, the exhibition seems not to matter. Was it because the exhibition was not the point, but that the point was to spend a day with her? Did he really not know it was her birthday? 

She spends nights with him, wrapped in both happiness and a sense of discomfort. He never told her that he wanted to keep their dalliance under wraps, he said yes to her request. JE does not seem intimidated by daylight as she is. 

He kisses her in the open, brings her out, texts her in the middle of a school lunch, unabashedly stares and smiles at her at group meetings. 

He tells her that he’s going to eat breakfast, alone – a phrase that seems almost a question. She rejects him. 

JE is reticent on certain issues, but it begs the question – is she owed any explanation? She has expectations of JE, for him to be more forthcoming especially, when we don’t know that that’s even his personality. 

There are sprinkles of information, no one seems to spend birthdays with him, his mother was a dancer (but where is she?). It is markedly uncharacteristic of JE, at least from all we know till that point, to reveal even that. 

He covers the deeper questions with kisses and touch, uncomfortable about revealing beyond a certain point. With a relationship such as theirs, who is to say he is owed information about her mother, and she is owed info about his? 

Yet JE seems to wish that NB get along with her mother, the motivations of which is unclear. And this ambiguity will likely continue, as long as we see JE through the lens of everyone but himself. 

A picture of JE as painted by others. A danger, a tormentor, with negative consequences. They may be right, remember they can always be right, and we have episodes left to find this out. 

But as time passes it also seems like we stand as jury in a case with no statement from the defendant. The fact of the matter is that JE has been shown to be non-committal (he has said so himself), yet has a side that seems to genuinely care for NB. 

When he’s seen to be with Seol-A, he’s distracted by NB. There are even parallels of him looking at her name, unsure, in his phone, just as she does with his. He never forces her to be with him, backing off (albeit angrily) when NB wants to be with Eunhan. 

He thinks of her, clearly affected, as he looks at lime drinks, buys her medicine out of kindness, staying only when she wants him to. In the times we don't see him through the eyes of NB, friends, others, we are left with little info on him. 

We empathise with NB, internalise her uneasiness. “Why can’t you be my boyfriend?” – Why hasn’t she asked? Is her perception of him reliable? Why is she basing her reactions and actions towards JE based on what everyone says? 

Yet NB remains so unrelentingly relatable even on that point. NB’s been hurt before, and spent some time in an abusive relationship, where her every action was controlled. Her best friend has a mind of her own and a persuasive nature. 

NB…is unsure, doubtful and scared to be hurt. She wants to communicate, and dislikes the fact that she can’t. The whirlwind of youth I identify with. 

As usual I find myself rooting for my protagonist, vulnerable, in a state of transition. I yearn for her to grow in confidence, in introspection. I hope she will be able to ease her heart by learning to communicate her wants clearly and be happy on her own. 

And I don't think JE needs to be a 2D bad guy for that to happen. In fact, a show filled with layered characters heightens the realism, reflects the shades of black, white and grey in our relations, deepens the satisfaction of a viewer such as myself. 

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