Visceral Feelings (14 April 22)

 Kira's back with the angst hours even now, I find myself returning to ep5 when I need a quick gut punch. Ep 5 embodies this sort of angst that hurts so much because of how realistic and mundane it is: a situation in which you're not only at war with someone who you have complicated feelings for, but also with yourself. The anger, frustration, affection, etc. all burst out of you as you try so hard to keep your cool. Even when the pot boils over, both of them clearly care about what's at stake, in fact, they care a lot. 

Both of them act out and lash out in their own way, but neither is able to say the words they really want to say, to ask the questions they really want the answers to. Even now, ep. 5 still hits me hard. The feeling is still so visceral and real. 

Watching these two desperately try to hold on in their own ways, all the while holding back their deeper feelings in fear of getting hurt. One hand is clinging onto that person for dear life while the other points a blade at them. For so many of us (JE+NB included) our survival instincts win out. We inflict wounds upon ourselves in hopes that it'll prevent others from landing a blow in a desperate act of self preservation, but the funny thing is that I always come to regret it. It's important to validate your feelings and desires for friends. 


thisjieuns in response to doramaticbites 

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