An Ode to the Bittersweet Mess of Youth (23 June 23)

~If they lose their scales, they'll lose the patterns and colors on their wings, and won't be able to fly~

~Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued is always beyond our grasp, but if you sit quietly, might alight upon you~

(I'll give a spoiler warning when it's needed)

Nevertheless appreciation depends on people's sensitivity, but it's an excellent drama for many reasons and I'm here to explain why. If you can't handle college students being messy, I wouldn't recommend this drama to you. If you like stories of complex feelings, thoughtful, realistic and mature dramas, then go ahead. The story was incredibly well thought-out, the characters were layered and the drama was visually very aesthetic too. Everything was beautifully executed, I love K-dramas because they give us beautiful productions like this, but Nevertheless is pretty much like no other because it was less scripted & more raw. It's deep, complex, artistic, subtle & sentimental. Clear explanations are not thrown at your face at all and the play on perspectives challenges the audience.

The drama is based on the webtoon but the two are different works that have each taken their own path. Nevertheless is a masterpiece because every time you will rewatch it, you will notice new details. The fanbase wrote literal essays because of all the attention that was put into it, it's almost to the point that you can analyze every scene and every line.

Before going in depth :

Cinematography, acting, music : Absolutely on point. The music and cinematography suit the drama perfectly. I know that not everyone is hooked by the atmosphere/pacing but you can't ignore it was perfectly done (personally it was the first time I felt so immersed into a drama to the point of dreaming about it every night). Song Kang and Han So Hee nailed at portraying their character's emotions, their gazes, the way they talked, the subtle gestures,...

Some things I need to mention : 1. The artistic aspect and the butterflies. The butterflies were real btw! And Nabi's sketches in her room were real too as Han So Hee herself graduated in art. 2. The way they filmed certain things, like hiding half of the face of the people who didn't have much importance for them anymore or had a negative impact on them. 3. The modern and realistic take on relationships and feelings that the drama portrays, and not only thanks to the main couple. (we even got representation of lgbtq+ characters!) 4. The intimate scenes. They were perfectly realized, beautifully captured along with Rio's songs, not unnecessary, not too short, not too long, and there weren't too many. Each time they kissed had me melt right away. Especially when they couldn't control their feelings... The entire room suddenly felt hot. We need more real kisses like this in dramas! 5. The secondary characters and the diversity in their personalities, just as in real life, and also the friendship between all of them. Loved it. Even the teacher was amazing! She was surprisingly open-minded and gave great advices. (not always, though) 6. The way their inner thoughts were shown to the audience was awesome. 7. The struggles of young adults in their twenties were portrayed very well. I'm not in my twenties yet, but I know that people related and I also can feel it already.

Stop here if you don't want major spoilers !

To begin with, Jae Eon is admittedly a flirt, but to what extent do people really know him? He did not deliberately hurt people, he never used his past as an excuse, and no one cared about him before as much as Nabi did. There is a great portrayal of what's a toxic person at the beginning and that is Nabi's ex. Jae Eon also was a bit touchy-feely but he wasn't controlling like her ex and didn't abuse her. Her ex, on the other hand, destroyed her self-esteem. Jae Eon told her she's the prettiest when she works, her ex told her she's the prettiest while having sex. Her ex kept blaming her, has Jae Eon ever done that to her? Never. The drama starts out with Nabi’s agency completely robbed by her ex, yet when she meets someone so passive that every choice in the relationship is hers - she totally crumbles under the pressure. She is also very critical of herself for multiple reasons. This drama is undeniably a fascinating character study, I'll have to omit a lot of details but if you want more, look at the links I put in the comments section. The first episodes are almost entirely told through a distrustful main character’s POV and the audience is left wondering what the truth is. Halfway point leaves you questioning the characters POV (especially Nabi). Later episodes let you looking back at the first episodes with new eyes, which is clever.

Nabi is not you and neither she is a victim of a toxic man (unless we are talking about her ex). Both were responsible for their choices and actions and it's pretty clear that she hurts Jae Eon too.

I know that it depends on one's sensitivity but some people are going way too far. Please try to appreciate these two characters, this is all I'm asking for. People inventing them disorders and evil motivations are ridiculous. Yes, some people actually do that, I even saw people calling out the drama to be anti-feminist. What does feminism even mean to them anyway? The woman has to be 100% good and the man 100% bad? No thank you, I do not support this mindset. It's even contradictory to view her as a naive and stupid girl while that's clearly not what the drama shows. Those same people made her dirty, sounds like hypocrisy to me. I absolutely love Nabi and Jae Eon so please listen to what I have to say.

Jae Eon's feelings about Nabi are clear. First, the bracelet he made for her, as well as the butterfly-shaped suncatcher. The scene where he wrapped his shirt around her waist, when he offered to be her partner for the work, the scene where he was worried to the point he called the emergency because she didn't respond (she was sick), the scene of the fight where he loses control of himself and beats the man who hurt her, when he was there the day of her anniversary, his discussions with his mother, Seol Ah and Kyu Hyun, and finally the reveal of his love at first sight. He confirms it near the end by talking to her about how he first met her at the exhibition and how he saw it as fate when he met her again one night, without directly saying who it was, Nabi thinking it was just another girl until she saw the drawing.

Now it's time to go more in depth.

Before anything, you have to take into consideration their contradictory feelings for each other causing the mess that is their relationship, but also : their past experiences and their family's situation. Nabi never saw a successful relationship from her mother while not even having a good relationship with her (but she had her aunt) and Jae Eon had a well off mother who couldn't give him the love and attention he needed, making it hard for him to even love himself. Jae Eon had the same abandonment issues as Nabi, his manifested in aloofness and hers in insecurity.

Jae Eon was interested in Nabi since the first time he met her at the exhibition hall. They met again by coincidence after that night. Nabi knew what kind of person Jae Eon was. Nevertheless, she already fell for him and against all odds, by herself, she kissed him. She knew what kind of relationship she was getting into, there's no need to act as if she didn't. Both were sexually attracted by each other but there was more on both sides. There wasn't really anything wrong with their relationship in the first place. It was quite messy but still they were happy with it and having a good time together - until bad things happened such as gossip, Nabi's ex return, Seol Ah's lie to Nabi and this girl's brother encounter with Jae Eon. Their relationship then becomes unhealthy because of the miscommunication, insecurities and fears. Nabi felt pathetic because she wanted more than what Jae Eon could give and she was confused about his feelings. He didn't want to commit but at the same time he didn't like how Nabi was straying away from him, especially for other boys, while most of the time he stayed with her. He had feelings for her (he started to realize his own feelings when he told her "It's not like that." which is something he wouldn't have done normally) and didn't want her to go, but again, he couldn't have a serious relationship with her and let's not forget that he didn't know himself if she ever saw him as more than a friend with benefits. Once Nabi realized she’s not able to accept that type of relationship anymore she ended it and that’s what it was. Yet, Jae Eon still decided to pursue her despite everything, something he would never do before. Actually, he kept coming back to her until the end. Even though he met another girl when Nabi left, he kept thinking about her and he decided she's the one after his discussion with his mother.

Jae Eon did his worst mistake at that one moment (when he saw Do Hyeok), in spite of Nabi's feelings. Rather than being sincere, he was swept up in emotions and acted selfishly, and Nabi felt it so she did not believe him. The lack of communication between them was still there so they just exploded in anger once again and regretted. This is the best summary I can give. Then episode 10 happened and ended everything in the most beautiful way. The ending was perfect and meaningful.

Also I feel like Jae Eon didn't clear that one misunderstanding (that he was currently dating Seol Ah) because he felt responsible towards Seol Ah's health problems and he stayed with her despite having broken up (probably a long time ago). He wasn't dating her but he was still "seeing someone else", thus, it wasn't all a lie. He still could have cleared up the misunderstanding, but in all Jae Eon fashion, he doesn't talk about his private life. And who knows, maybe Nabi will know about that in the future we didn't get to see.

I also hope that Jae Eon will open up more to others. He did not have any serious relationship or close friends, even his relationship with Seol Ah was not something positive, even though they were sort of close friends. However, everything else was superficial.

I liked Do Hyeok, but was he faultless? I'll let you take a look at this thread if you want : https://twitter.com/doramaticbites/status/1582285501511634945

Jae Eon is a character who is intentionally hard to read, as he doesn't talk much about himself and that we don't get to see his POV a lot (the protagonist being Nabi). He never was a bad person, just someone lonely and hurt. Don't forget that he is actually a child who doesn't know how to express his feelings well. He doesn't show how he truly feels, acts over-confident and distant, thus making him look not sincere. His behavior felt more like a way for him to cope with his lack of love and attention, or you could say his loneliness, just like the butterflies he didn't want to free. Many people saw him as narcissistic but it was clearly a shell and he couldn't control his emotions, which was new for him. Getting clingy was what he hated the most but he started crossing those lines with Nabi. His character development was not rushed, instead it was beautifully told. He felt sorry and was sick of himself. You could say the ending was rushed because what happened to the statue clearly was a helpful plot device, but who cares? How it was done and what it meant was beyond amazing.

What's great about the ending? The fact that they finally became honest towards each other. You could feel their sincerity. The future is uncertain but in the end what's important is the present moment. If you always think about the end you can't live love, it is not a conventional HEA but a realistic ending. Nabi went from a porcelain girl in a box to a free butterfly. I also loved the fact that SHE gets to ask him out. From the beginning of their relationship, it was all about HER choice. On the other hand, Jae Eon's world view became less unhealthy thanks to Nabi. "So don't go anywhere and stay by my side" was all he wanted to hear. She chooses him despite being flawed and recognizes it, and that is, to me, the beauty of love.

The scene where Jae Eon frees his butterflies, when he and Seol Ah part ways, when he helps Nabi, when he tells her that she looks happy when she is working and makes her realize her true value, just like the statue and the "wings" he gave to her so that she could become her own butterfly, when they say goodbye to each other and have tears in their eyes, when they meet again and their discussion in front of the statue, the last episode is beautiful in every aspect.

The webtoon is very different so I made a comparison in the comments if you want to know. In the end, the drama is just a love story between normal people.

Finally, does it romanticize toxic relationships? For me, not at all. The objective is not to idealize the relationship but to understand the emotions the protagonists go through. Nabi did the right thing for her and ended her relationship with him when she couldn't handle it anymore, going back to her hometown. I think there's a lot of biased opinions, either because of the webtoon or because of people's personal stance. The thing is that you should remember that this drama is a play on perspectives and you must differentiate the good from the bad. Let's go back to the original matter, Nabi did not try to "fix" Jae Eon (she wanted to believe in it but nothing more), he realized when he lost her that he messed it up all, they could have never gotten back together but he decided to accept his feelings and ask Nabi a last time before he would lose the chance. You can feel his sincerity towards the end and many times throughout the drama, you also know why he acted such or such way. Plenty of stories are romanticizing toxic relationships but Nevertheless is not that, you have to consider a lot of things, be comprehensive and feel empathy for the characters. People do change because of and for others (be it negatively or positively) and you cannot deny such a human thing. They are not emotionless monsters but humans with feelings. We do mistakes, and we learn. That's how we grow.

Some will say that it was cliché but I do not agree, the most cliché is the second lead (childhood friend trope), the love triangle, the love at first sight and all the coincidences, but do I care? Absolutely not. Aside from that it definitely was something different. To some people, it seemed that it was cliché because Jae Eon has feelings for Nabi, that he's not bad and that it ended well. Like, seriously?

Some will say that it was not realistic by the end, but like Nabi says it herself, some situations in life do feel unrealistic and believing in fate or love is up to you. You could say they were destined, because of the multiple times they met by coincidence, or because of the name Nabi, or you could say there is no such thing. Whatever it is, what matters is that they truly love each other and that they both know it. Will they grow together and live happily ever after, or break up and regret once again? Well, like in reality, nobody knows but I wish the best for them whatsoever. Personally, I believe in fate and that they were destined to meet. Even how they met at the end was a pure coincidence.

In conclusion, before being a romance, Nevertheless is a coming-of-age story that is all about the characters growing. A few important messages from the drama : 1. Take the time you need to figure out your feelings. 2. Learn to love yourself before loving someone else. 3. Don't forget that love takes courage. 4. Remember that it's important to communicate properly and to be sincere in a relationship, so that there is understanding and trust. 5. Dating isn't about picking the nicest person. It's about meeting someone special to you. 6. Life is not all roses but sometimes you shouldn't be too afraid to make mistakes.

Societal criticism:

The hearsay, the judgments people may make about other people's choices and relationships (you can see how Nabi is affected by that), and the assumptions we make about people without knowing them. The audience itself played a role in judging the characters as they wished and telling them what to do. This drama has a lot more depth than it's made out to have. Great job, Nevertheless. And thank you for this beautiful journey which will be remembered and experienced again and again.

suwunoh